


Splitting over Split Ends

by Orajje



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Arguing, Crack, Gen, these fucking morons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orajje/pseuds/Orajje
Summary: Kyoko decides to take a bath at Homura's house, and things derail from there.
Relationships: Akemi Homura & Sakura Kyouko, Akemi Homura & Tomoe Mami, Sakura Kyouko & Tomoe Mami
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	Splitting over Split Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a timeline where Kyoko is around and Homura has allied with her for Walpurgisnacht while Mami is still alive.

Kyoko looked around the odd blank room that Homura brought her to to talk about Walpurgisnacht. ~~_For a moment, she remembered that one time with Mami-_ ~~ she shook her head, and focused on all the information the black haired girl brought up. She normally wouldn’t care much, but she obviously knew what she was talking about, and Walpurgisnacht wasn’t an opponent she could afford to fight against without knowing everything she could.

As she listened, she decided to call the girl out a bit. “Where did you learn all of this anyway?” Homura stopped for a moment, flipping her hair before she responded.

“My sources prefer to remain anonymous.” But Kyoko had lost focus as she looked at the girl's hair.

The girls long, _clean_ hair.

She listened as best she could as she mulled over an idea, then when Homura finished she got up. “Where is the bathroom in this apartment anyway?” Homura slowly pointed to a certain door that was barely visible. “Well then, I'm going to use your bath then, cya.” Homura shot her a look that Kyoko didn’t quite know how to parse, but she ignored it.

Then the girl turned back around and responded. “Just make sure to wash your hair.” Kyoko nodded, not really caring whether her new ally saw it. Heading into the bathroom.

When she entered it, she saw a large collection of hair products and other things on the bathtub. The entire place being more neat then what she remembered from Mami’s house

After taking off her clothes and filling up the tub, she slowly slipped down into the hot water, sighing in pleasure once her body was fully submerged. It had been at least a year since the last time she was able to have a hot bath, and being able to just relax in one again was… nice. She obviously shouldn’t get used to it, but just for now… it was nice. After a few minutes of just letting herself soak, she began cleaning herself. Using the soap and watching all the dirt from recently coming off.

She washed her hair with a bit of the soap, ignoring the assorted hair products. She may want her hair clean, but she barely remembered any information, nor did she care to figure out how to use them all. As she was getting out and drying herself off with the towels, a knock came from the door, then it opened partially, a set of clothes being set on the floor before it shut again. Kyoko looked at her old, dirty clothes for a moment, and decided it wasn’t too bad of an idea to try the new ones for now. At worst they wouldn’t fit after all.

The unnerving part, as she was putting them on, was that they actually fit immensely well. Better than her old clothes. To the point where she wondered where her new ally had gotten them. How she had known her sizes. But at the same time it could have just been some magic, or being _really_ good at eyeballing sizes. She decided not to question it. They were warm, and seemed pretty durable, and that was all that mattered for now.

As she stepped out, Homura quickly turned to her, and got a mildly annoyed look on her face. “Did you not wash your hair?”

… _bitch_. “Of course I did!”

“Oh, what did you use?”

She sweated a little, trying to remember the name of it, but quickly gave up. “I used the soap!” 

Given the look on Homura’s face, that was the wrong answer. She tuned out the resulting rant from the girl about how to use all the products in there, and in what order. It was honestly a little sweet how the girl wanted to help her out in such a small way, but at the same time she didn’t really care about all the things she was saying- suddenly a hand was on her shoulder.

“Are you even listening?” … Fuck.

“... No. I honestly don’t really care.” considering how Homura’s eyes looked like they were sharper than her spear, that was another wrong thing to say. Whoops.

They continued arguing about it for a bit, mostly Homura trying to tell her to care about hair care while she slowly got more annoyed as she kept telling Homura she didn’t really care. 

Then she said. “Jeez, even Mami wouldn’t get on my ass this much!” 

“How about we test that.” Homura responded, voice sounding relatively pissed.

… Well she wasn’t going to chicken out now.

The resulting trip to Mami’s apartment was shockingly fast, Homura rushed through the city to get there quickly and finish the argument. Quickly landing in front of the door, and knocking. After a few moments, Mami opened the door cautiously, hair down, obviously not expecting them, or happy about it.

“What do you two want?” Mami said warily.

“We need you to resolve an argument, it shouldn’t take too long before I am proven correct and we can leave.”

“That’s a fucking bold assumption from the person who started it!” she angrily responded.

Mami seemed confused, but let them in, and after listening to both of their sides, she began talking. “I do think Akemi san has a point,” … this _bitch_ \- “but your methods are overkill Akemi san.” … did she just… not pick a side!?

“Really?! You can’t even pick! I swear to god I don’t need it!” The argument quickly continued, Mami trying to justify her choice while Kyoko did her best to rip her reasoning apart because it _fucking wasn’t!_ Homura practically wasn’t involved at this point, other than occasionally keeping her from throwing a punch when it got _really_ hostile. 

“Seriously, it's not that hard to do some hair care when necessary Kyoko!” Mami yelled.

“Oh ya! Say’s the girl with bigass hair curls every day of the week!” she threw back.

“If you know what you’re doing, it's not impossible. But I often use magic to do it easily when I don’t have time.” She said, a yellow glow coming from her hair before it turned into her signature curly style.

She was about to say something, but before she could Homura started walking towards Mami with a _pissed_ look on her face as she started **_tearing_ ** into Mami about wasting magic. Now, when it came done to it, she wasn’t exactly friends with the girl anymore, but she also didn’t exactly want to see the girl she had once thought of as an older sister get eviscerated by an angry 14 year old, so she quickly held the girl back as best she could, wrapping her arms around her from behind. Thankfully, she didn’t try to resist even as she continued verbally laying the smack down on Mami.

… Honestly, some of the strung together insults were pretty impressive. Even if they weren’t offensive enough to particularly be part of her normal repertoire, she memorized as many as she could. Because Mami was looking more and more shocked with what amounted to the most vicious verbal beat down Kyoko had ever heard.

… Y’know… if this girl was up for it… she might hang around.

It would be entertaining at least.

She was still taking Walpurgisnacht’s grief seed though.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Potato for the amazing title


End file.
